This episode contains discussion around addiction, rehab, grooming, cuckoo'ing, and chemsex.



🎧 Join us for an incredibly honest and inspiring conversation with counsellor and campaigner Ben Kaye as he shares his remarkable journey from addiction and breakdown to becoming an award-winning therapist specialising in LGBTQ+ substance misuse and chemsex support.



This powerful episode reveals how life can completely change course twice - first when Ben's parents divorced at 15, derailing his university dreams, and again at 37 when a "tsunami of personal circumstances" led to his breakdown and recovery journey.



Hosted by:

Michaela McCarthy (Founder of The Awareness Centre, The Awareness Centre Training School, and Creator and Host of A Bunch of Therapists Podcast. Senior BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and Influential Leader) and Dipti Solanki (Therapist, Coach & Consultant, Mental Health Trainer and Founder of Grief Matters 4 All CIC).



In this compelling episode, Ben openly shares:

• How his parents' divorce at 15 changed his life trajectory overnight

• Working in the City for 20+ years whilst feeling completely stuck

• Using substances from age 15 to 37 as a way to change how he felt

• His mental breakdown at 37 and the dangerous situations he found himself in

• Walking through the doors of a Lambeth drug and alcohol service

• His transformative three months in rehab in Bournemouth

• Discovering he could retrain and pursue education for the first time since leaving school

• Launching Dorset's first LGBTQ+ recovery groups and chemsex support services

• Completing his counselling qualifications and psychology master's degree



This profoundly moving conversation offers hope and practical guidance for anyone struggling with addiction, identity, or feeling trapped in their circumstances.



🔍 Key Topics Discussed:

• The impact of family breakdown on teenage development

• Feeling stuck in careers that don't align with your true self

• Substance use as emotional regulation and escape

• The chemsex scene and its specific challenges

• Finding culturally competent therapeutic support

• The importance of being truly heard versus just listened to

• How personal struggles can inform professional specialisation

• Building LGBTQ+ specific services outside major cities

• The difference between MSM (men who have sex with men) and gay identity

• Practical advice on finding the right therapist



Chapters:

00:00 Intro

01:20 Parents' divorce and life derailment at 15

05:30 Working in the City and feeling stuck

09:00 Substance use as coping mechanism

09:32 Mental breakdown at 37

11:50 Accessing drug and alcohol services

13:10 Rehab experience in Bournemouth

13:30 Chemsex explanation

14:45 Rehab in Bournemouth

19:20 Mental Health & Being Believed

20:14 Working in Drug & Alcohol Services as an Addictions Therapist

20:29 Grooming & Cuckoo'ing

20:50 LGTBQI Specific Therapy

22:58 Training to Become a Counsellor

23:20 Volunteering at a Drug & Alcohol Charity

23:54 Launching the Charity's First LGBTQ Recovery Group

24:52 Creating a Chemsex Drop In Clinic

25:46 Launching the Charity's First LGBTQ Webchat Facility

26:20 Therapy Training & Psychology Masters

27:48 The Next Chapter in Ben's Journey & Returning to The Awareness Centre

28:57 Meeting Clients Where They Are

29:50 Shame Around Sex & Behaviours Around Sex and Finding The Right Therapist

31:16 Male Prison Population & MSM

32:12 Ben's Message to Listeners Who Are Struggling

32:40 Being Listened to vs. Feeling Heard

35:00 Outro



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